


Ambitious Boys

by TGIntentX



Series: Robin Romantica [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), DCU, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Developing Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-12 16:32:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11740887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGIntentX/pseuds/TGIntentX
Summary: Dick Grayson is a broken man whom fate had dealt him a cruel hand. Along comes Damian Wayne breaking into his world and turning it upside down. Just like his namesake, Damian tears down the walls Dick erect around himself to get what he wants. And what he wants is for Dick to take responsibility and accept it.Damian is 15-16





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off the manga/anime Junjou Romantica; Junjou Terrorist by Shungiku Nakamura. You don't need to read the manga or watch the anime to enjoy the fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was first introduced to Damian in the Son of Batman movie, I was instantly turned off by him because he reminds me of every single brat I have ever taught in summer school. Ironicly a DamiDick fic was the reason it dragged me into the DC fandom that got me to start reading comics and learn more about the batboys. Later my love for the batfamily grew and this has got to be the longest I have stayed in a fandom and actually contributed. And all because of one fic.

Dick Grayson is a good person. He always tries to do the right thing no matter how difficult it may be. His lectures about human morality always spark a debate or rant that students would attend his class whether they were registered or not just to hear how passionate he is. His moral compass is infallible that always kept him on a steady straight path.

So why does this have to happen to him.

“I love you.”

See once in a while he'll be tempted to stray from his morals. Did he do anything really bad to have something like this done to him? Or was it something from his past life that finally came to haunt him for his past wrong.

“It's destiny.”

Maybe it was that time he went over board on a mugger for trying to steal an old lady's purse. Or maybe it was that other time where he lied to the old lady next door saying he couldn't make it for bingo night because he has to work late. Really, there were just so many times he could take going there and being setup with their granddaughters. That's karma for you.

But why does everything have to do with old ladies.

“Grayson are you listening to me?!”

Dick snaps out of his self-depreciation to look at the boy in front of him. The boy, or should he say, 'man', is glaring back at him with an angry frown on his otherwise neutral face.

“S-sorry Damian..,” Dick stammered. He scratches the side of his face uncomfortably, trying to figure out whats going on. He must have been distracted in his thoughts. “I know you repeated a couple of times and I may have heard it wrong...”

“I was being very specific when I told you that I love you,” Damian clarified. “Not in a friend way. Not in a little brother way. But as your equal and will be pursuing you in a romantic way.”

Dick really doesn't like how they have come to this conversation. This morning he got a text from Damian to meet him for brunch. Damian has recently came back from studying abroad and he thought they were just going to catch up on things. After his morning lecture, he met up with Damian at a little hole-in-the-wall diner not far from campus. It was probably the first time in a while that he's actually seen Damian. He grew so tall that he is almost the same height as him, only promising to get even taller. He gained some muscle, filling in his broad shoulders and biceps in his form fitting shirt, receiving the best traits from both of his parents.

_"Damian! You've grown so tall!"_

Just seeing him all grown up almost brought tears to his eyes of how proud he is of his littlest brother. Since entering the diner Dick gushed over how big Damian has grown and how handsome he's become. He messed his little brother's hair, feeling the familiar prickle feeling, and comparing to what he looks like when he was younger. He still has that little baby fat in his cheeks but it will go away soon and he wants to enjoy messing with him as long as possible. It was a nice brotherly hang out that they would both enjoy.

Until that moment was ruined when he received a love confession from said brother.

“W-well, anyway, I heard you just got back from...um...Australia?” Dick said, taking a long sip from his coffee mug, clenching the handle tight. He should count his blessing that there isn't anyone he recognized from school at the diner. “H-How was it?”

“It was fine,” Damian snapped. His gaze didn't waver as he stares at Dick intensely as ever. To be honest, Damian always has an effect on people to make them feel uncomfortable including himself. He probably inherit that talent from both of his parents, they were intimidating people. Or was it he asked that question so many times to the point of reaching the end of Damian's patience.

“Oh, okay! I get it now, right, of course,” Dick nodded in epiphany, placing his mug down carefully. “You were in a foreign place for a long time that you have trouble readjusting back to Gotham. I've heard some weird stuff about that place where the animals are the dominant species of that continent. Like there was this Youtube video of a couple being held hostage in their own home by a giant spider. 'Course maybe it won't happen as often if you're studying in the city...”

That is possibly the best explanation for his behavior, Dick thought. Puberty and hormones must have been going overdrive at best. With no friends and family around, Damian has to go through these changes alone. He still remembered Damian's squeaky voice and have laughed when his voice started to crack.

“You haven't come home for two years or something and it must have evoke so much emotions that you probably didn't process them correctly–”

“I'm in love with you...”

“We had one hell of a heat wave this summer too! Gotham's hot weather was so muggy that it must be wearing you down! Probably not as bad as Australia but still-you should drink more water, that'll do it!”

“Do. Not. Mock. Me.”

The intensity from Damian's voice made Dick paused, stopping in mid-sentence. He wasn't expecting how serious Damian is acting right now and was taken aback by his demeanor. And his plan was working so well.

Dick gave a defeated sigh, crossing his arms as he tries to avoid Damian's eyes. But his stare is inescapable, effectively trapping him just by his mere presence alone. Looks like he'll have to confront the issue head on.

Dick slumped against his seat. “Do you have any idea what you're saying? I'm a man in his mid-twenties, close to thirties,” he said, feeling his eye twitched trying to explain. “You are close to sixteen. To top it all off, I'm your eldest brother. Quit playing pranks with this old man...”

Damian frowned even harder. “Did you think this is a hobby of mine to fly all the way from Australia to simply to meet an old man and play a prank on him?”

“...So what exactly do you want me to do about it?

“Take responsibility. Its destiny.”

Now a days he doesn't have a damn clue what kids these days are thinking about. This 'destiny' that his younger brother, Damian Al-Ghul Wayne, is blathering about apparently stems from something that happened more than five years ago when Damian was still in private school while he just started college.

Their first meeting was unusual and the age gap back then was too abominable as well.

 

 

_Dick was walking down the street when he heard a scuffle in a nearby alley. Too curious for his own good he decided to take a look and investigate. It is his duty as a law-abiding citizen to help those in need._

_Right now he isn't sure who needed help the most._

_He came across a bunch of teenagers writhing and moaning in pain while Damian is standing in the middle. He is much shorter and skinnier than present day Damian, wearing a private school uniform. He appeared to be unharmed, breathing heavily._

“ _Do yourself a favor, plebians, and contribute to society rather than preying on little boys like me!”_

_Very interesting words coming from someone half his age, Dick thought staring at what seems to be an aftermath of a beat down. He doesn't really know what's going on as he walks over the downed teenagers to reach the boy in the middle._

“ _Are you okay?” Dick asked._

_Damian turned and Dick could clearly see his face. A boy fresh out of youth with scruff of dirt marring his face and school uniform. Apparently he is not as fine as he thought he would be._

“ _What the hell are you looking at?!” Damian snapped at him. He glares at Dick while patting dirt off his uniform._

“ _Well to be honest, I don't really know what I'm looking at,” Dick shrugged, picking up the boy's school bag near his feet. He timidly handed the boy's backpack who snatched it quickly from his hand and puts it on._

“ _Aren't you gonna do something?” groaned one of the injured teenagers from the ground._

_Dick blinks owlishly before comically nodding.“Oh yeah sure.” He reached for his phone in his pocket and flips it open.“I gonna call the cops. Telling them you're disturbing the peace. I saw some of them at the diner on my way over here but hey, it's your call.”_

_The teenagers just grumbled and picked themselves up. They stumbled their way out of the alley, avoided Damian like a plague but glared at Dick with contempt. One of them shoulder bumped Dick hard on his way out._

_When they were sure the teenagers are at a good distance, Dick snickered and puts his phone away.“Hmmmm... maybe I should have called the cops instead of letting them go,” Dick wondered out loud, wincing at his shoulder. “That'll set them straight but it'll just waste taxpayer's money to just send delinquents to prison."_

_Dick gave Damian an easy smile who stares at Dick with disbelief. Guess he saved the day after all, course the boy didn't look like he needed any help. His smile wavered when he realized how unkempt the boy look. Must have been from the scuffle with those kids earlier._

“ _Are you sure you're okay? Do you have any bruises on you?”_

_The boy folded his arms over his rumpled clothes and clicked his tongue at Dick. “I'm fine.”_

“ _Well good,” Dick smiles again before realizing what he needed to do. “Sorry but do you know how to get to the Royal Hotel?”_

_Damian raised an eyebrow and moves to leave the alleyway. “I have to go there too.”_

_The two left the alley and rushed to the hotel as quickly as they can. Initially they were suppose to part ways at the lobby but Dick stops by the directory to check for his room before moving up the stairs. Damian follows behind him, calling for him._

“ _Are you going the same way?!”_

“ _I'm gonna be late!”_

_When Dick reached the designated room, he flunged the doors wide open. “I'm so sorry!” Dick apologized._

_Damian's head almost smacks into his outstretched arm running in the same direction._

 

“ _Dick, what took you so long?” Tim asked, sitting on the couch. “Everybody is here.”_

“ _Damian, you're late. And your school uniform is dirty,” a woman scolded, sitting across from Tim._

_Dick takes in the room and sees Bruce sitting on one side of the room with Tim, Jason, and Alfred by his side. On the other side he sees a posh woman and an old man sitting stiffly facing them. Behind the lemon-faced duo are some servants standing behind them, expressionless with their hands behind their back._

“ _Well since you both are the last to come and quite convenient that you came together, we shall begin,” said Alfred as he stands up._

“ _Dick, this is Damian al Ghul,” Alfred gestures to Damian standing behind Dick. “He is Bruce and Talia al Ghul's illegitimate child. But not for long as Bruce and Talia, the young woman sitting there, are betroth and soon to be married.”_

_Dick stares at the group in shock, not knowing how to react to such news. Nobody seem to be excited of the news – except for Talia's side of the room as both her and the old man are sporting an evil smile. Meanwhile Bruce's expression is closed off while Jason stares at Bruce as though he is completely out of his mind. Tim looks like he's about to be sick and Alfred looks impassive as ever._

_Dick took a deep breath, inhale and exhale. It seemed like his worst nightmares are coming true and with an evil-looking woman no less. He wanted to confront Bruce asking him what is going through his mind on getting a shot-gun wedding with a woman none of them have even known. Making a spectacle of himself in front of his family and strangers was the farthest thing he wanted to do. Congratulation doesn't seem to be in order so he turns to Damian who was just as shell-shocked by this announcement as half of his future family._

“ _I guess I'm your big brother now.”_

 

 

The engagement came out of nowhere and none of them saw it coming. Dick made up an excuse of studying a midterm so that he doesn't have to attend the wedding. Being there to witness such an event would hurt even though it wasn't supposed to. He didn't miss much besides the wedding cake and being part of the wedding photos (Jason commented the cake is vegan so he probably dodged a bullet). Their union seems such a waste of time because Bruce and Talia were only married for five years before they divorce. Turns out that Talia's family has been using Bruce as leverage and planned to hostile takeover Wayne Enterprise. Although Bruce lost one of his company's division in the divorce, he had also gained sole custody of Damian Wayne.

From what he learned later on was that they are more alike than they realized but their different ideology always causes them to clash. Dick suspected that in some ways Bruce and Talia did actually loved each other a long time ago. But they never act like it, hiding behind seduction or stoicism. And when they got married, whatever feelings they may have had before has become false pretenses to be used against one another. Divorce was messy; fighting, shouting, and even an assassination attempt. And after all this time he still doesn't know the real reason why they got married.

“Sir? Sir! Are you alright?!”

Dick was startled and tries to recompose himself. He looks around his surroundings and sees that he's still sitting in the diner with half-eaten pancakes in front of him. A waitress is standing beside him, looking at him with concerned eyes and her hand on his shoulder for shaking him.

“Sir? You've been blankly staring into space for five whole minutes and we were worried about you,” the waitress explained. “Are you alright? Do we need to call someone for you?”

“I'm sorry, I'm okay,” Dick apologized, shaking his head. “Can I get the check please?”

“Oh don't worry about it,” the waitress waved him off. “The boy who was sitting across from you earlier paid the tab. Such a nice young man. He left a generous tip to let you sit here as long as you need until you're ready to leave. But you haven't moved or touched your plate so we were worried about you. Would you like me to pack your food for you?”

Dick stares down at his cold pancakes in front of him. So it wasn't a dream. That whole love confession must have put him in shock. How long was he out? He didn't remember when he blanked out.

“No thank you, ma'am...”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was planning this fic it was supposed to be JayDick based on Junjou Egoist. Out of all of Shungiku Nakamura's work, Junjou Egoist has been my favorite. But because both Jason and Dick are too interchangeable in those roles and have similar characteristics as both characters from Junjou Egoist, the idea got scrapped. Surprisingly when I was in the shower my mind strayed to Junjou Terrorist with DamiDick and it has never crossed my mind because in my opinion Junjou Terrorist was so-so. 
> 
> Conclusion: The best ideas and plan for fics all come from taking a shower.

“And that's it for today's lecture. Don't forget to read chapter six before next class and just a reminder that this week's paper is due next Wednesday. Class dismiss.”

With that, the students start to pack up and leave the class. Dick stands behind his podium, staying behind to answer some of his student's questions. By the time the last student left the room, Dick packs up his stuff and heads for his office.

As he walks toward his office, Dick rummage his pocket for his phone. He checks if there are any new messages but is disappointed that there aren't any new messages from Damian. Ever since brunch, he has been apprehensive of Damian's future response and behavior. He should do the sensible thing and avoid all contact with Damian Wayne until he cools off. But that didn't stop him from checking his phone every now and then to see if Damian has messaged him.

Dick sighs as he finally reached his office to drop off his stuff before leaving for the day. He hasn't seen Damian in years and this is what it came to. He should count himself lucky that Damian didn't come to him to confess killing someone.

And that may have been preferable too.

Earlier this week, Alfred asked if Damian could stay at Dick's apartment for two weeks. The boy's surprised return has damper on the plans they already made. Bruce is on a business trip and Alfred will be out of town. Nobody knows where Jason is and Tim is on the other side of the country.

That just left Dick as the only reasonable choice to take care of Damian. He loves Alfred dearly that in any normal circumstance he would welcome Damian into his home with open arms. He was actually excited that Damian finally came back to Gotham and would be staying with him until Bruce and Alfred return.

But after what had happened in the last 24 hours, all Dick could think about was if it's possible to call Alfred and tell him that he changed his mind. Millions of excuses were generated ranging from busy with work to being admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. But Alfred's patent disappointed look pops up in his mind that he doesn't want to be receiver on that end.

Dick moves out of the way from bumping into a student that snapped him out of his thoughts. He muttered an apology to the student and cursed himself for being oblivious to his surroundings. It seems Damian has been occupying his mind lately. Although Damian has grown, it still doesn't stop the family worrying for his well-being and still require adult supervision.

It's headaches like these that Dick hates the most.

 

 

Dick told Alfred to send Damian around 5 o'clock to give him some time to set the place up. He prepared the guest room, bought groceries, and cleaned up his apartment. By 4:50pm Damian is standing in front of Dick's apartment with a suitcase beside him. It takes all of Dick's will power to not shut the door in Damian's face and hide under his covers until he's gone.

But that wouldn't be what a good big brother would do so he moves out of the way to let Damian in.

“Your room is down the hall from mine,” Dick said, avoiding eye contact by looking at the wall behind Damian. “Feel free to use whatever you need in the house as long as you don't make a mess.”

Damian looks around the apartment and makes an uncommittal noise. “It's cleaner than what I expected. Much better than your old place.”

Dick couldn't help but rolled his eyes when Damian's back was turned. When Dick was still a student, Damian visited his dorm room. Back then he didn't have time to clean or was rather too lazy to do so. Compared to Damian's spartan-like room back at the manor lacking knickknacks, Dick's own room is a pigsty only second to Tim's. A lot of people would say he has been too reliant on Alfred to pick up his mess but by his definition he just kept the mess to a manageable level.

“Help yourself to some snacks,” Dick said, going to his room and not looking back. “Wifi password is on the fridge. You can take a shower or unpack, up to you. I'll cook dinner in an hour but right now I'm going to take a nap.”

He shuts the door and flops onto the bed. It's been a tiring day and he hasn't had a break all day.

He shakes his head and hugs his pillow around its middle. What is wrong with him? He's acting like a coward to Damian of all people. He'll give Damian some time to adjust to the apartment before he deals with the mess later.

Setting his alarm to an hour, Dick fell into an uneasy sleep curling up into a ball in the center of the bed.

 

 

Not even an hour pass Dick woke up to the piercing sound of a smoke detector coming down the hall. He groaned as he stumbles to the kitchen sleepily, using the wall to guide him to the source. When he got to the kitchen Dick went from sleepiness to wide awake in just a matter of seconds.

“Oh my – Damian!”

Damian is at the stove cooking something with smoke coming from the pan. He looks like he's struggling to turn something over with the way he's gripping the spatula wrong and harshly stirring the food around. Dick moves to go to Damian's side to help him but Damian threw a glare at him and freezes him in his tracks. Not even a foot into the kitchen threshold Dick didn't know whether he should try to take over or stare in horror of what's going to happen to his kitchen.

He'll deal with the consequences later. Ignoring his glare, Dick rushes to Damian's side to turn on the kitchen fan to absorb the smoke and quickly lowered the knob to dim the stove's fire. He caught a quick glance at the sight of burnt vegetables and held back a wince as he goes back to the living room to grab magazine from his coffee table.

He ignores Damian's presence, concentrates on fanning the smoke detector until it ceases it's shrill alarm. When it finally stops ringing, Dick turns around and breathing heavily out of breath, giving Damian a shaky smile.

“Did you make rice?”

 

A somewhat burnt cabbage stir-fry sits in a bowl at the center of the table. Two small bowls of rice that Dick made and two small bowls of packaged miso soup. The turnout is... unexpected as Dick swallows his nervousness of the meal. Damian is expressionless but he knows him well enough that Damian is just as nervous, maybe even more.

“It's a very... healthy meal,” Dick said, trying to find the right words to describe their dinner.

“Sorry, just throw it out,” Damian spat, avoiding Dick's gaze. He moves to get up and picks up the bowl of vegetables. “I'll go buy something from outside.”

Dick grabs Damian's wrist to stop him from taking away the food. Dick offers a kind smile before piling his bowl of rice with the cabbage stir-fry. He chews on cabbage slowly before finally swallowing it.

“It's edible,” Dick commented as he takes another bite along with a spoonful of rice. “A little bit dry and... fresh, but not bad on your first try.”

“I'll do it right the next time,” Damian stiffly responded and started piling his own bowl.

“I didn't expect you to cook and it's not as bad when I first started,” Dick said, taking a sip of the miso soup before continuing what he was saying. “When I was in college I can only make cup noodles. Later I tried making something simple such as mac and cheese and I messed up and burned the pot. I relied on Alfred and takeout food way too much but Youtube and Google have been the best tools in teaching me how to  _not_  burn down the kitchen. Eventually with enough practice I managed to make a meal without looking it up anymore.”

“Weird, I thought your diet consists of cereal and poptarts,” Damian joked, picking at his food.

Dick chuckles. “It's just easier to eat when you're too lazy or too busy to cook. But don't ask me to get Lucky Charms; I had to get my stomach pumped from eating too many marshmallows and lets just say I have been traumatized from all future marshmallow concoctions.”

This is good. Having a normal conversation while eating dinner is the semblance of normalcy that they desperately need. Talking about his college days and Damian making jokes is a sign of progress. If Dick can keep this up Damian would forget all about this crush nonsense and they can go back to being brothers... or something close.

“So Damian, how's Australia?” Dick asked while chewing his food. “You seen any giant spiders? Drop bears? Kangaroos? Did you date there? I heard Australians are handsome and that wolverine guy – “

Dick froze at that slip. Before he can take it back, Damian leveled Dick a deadpanned stare causing Dick to irked his shoulders in an uncomfortable manner. He wasn't supposed to bring it up. This isn't how its supposed to turn out to be. He knows that sometimes he lacks tact and on occasion foot meet mouth but this just takes the cake. Abort! Abort mission!

“I want you to take responsibility,” Damian said solemnly, not taking his eyes off Dick.

Dick sighed, putting his eating utensils down. He's too tired to deal with this right now. “Why? I told you this before, we're both men. We're brothers – I practically raised you and watched you grow up.”

“The Westermarck Effect is invalid to your reasoning because you were not there as often as you should.”

“Don't you think the age difference is a little bit much? Its almost as big of an age gap between me and Bruce. It's illegal!”

“Of course it's a little much but not unusual,” Damian replied. “And although this country's age of adulthood is eighteen, I am already mature and will hit that number very soon. That is why I believe you should take responsibility for having this done to me.”

“What do you mean “responsibility”? What do you want me to do? What did I do to you?”

Dick doesn't know what Damian wants from him or what he expects of him. He couldn't help but feel annoyed at how Damian has been so calm while he's freaking out. He loves Damian very much but that boy can't get everything he wants just because of his say so. It was what Damian has to say next makes Dick rethink all his life choices.

“I want you to fall in love with me.”


	3. Chapter 3

_Dick sits by the edge of the bed, watching Damian do his homework. He hasn't been back home since Bruce's plan to get married and he's finally back from Hudson University after his semester was over. He plans to spend some time with his new family but it seems like they've gone their separate ways. Bruce is busy, Jason is 'in his rebellion stage, Tim is adjusting to his teenage angst, and Alfred needs a break. He's surprised that Talia's family didn't move in to the manor but slightly relieved. That family gives him the heebie jeevies._

_Except for Damian._

_He stares at the boy's hunched back facing him before lying down to stare at the ceiling. He has so many things to ask Damian but he doesn't know how to approach him. He doesn't act like the other children nor know him that well. The only time he met him was at the engagement and when he answered the door._

“ _What do you want, Grayson?”_

_Dick picks himself up to lie on his elbows. Damian hasn't turned around, still sitting by his desk doing his homework. Dick makes a confused noise from the bed._

“ _Is there a reason why you are here in my room?” Damian asked, not turning around to face him._

“ _I wanted to get to know you, Damian,” Dick said, slowly. He sits up to look at him properly even though he's been trying to do that for the past ten minutes._

_Damian stops writing but didn't put his pencil down. “There isn't much to know,” he replied._

“ _Well you're part of the family now and I'm just curious to know more about you.”_

“ _You don't have to do such a thing. Todd and Drake didn't bother and father doesn't want to deal with me.”_

“ _Well I guess I'm just different and wanted to spend some time with you. Do you want to watch some movies and eat ice cream? We have a large collection of Disney and Pixar movies; courtesy of moi.”_

_There was a pause before Damian turns around. His brows are scrunched into a frown that Dick considered cute.“...what is Pixar?”_

 

 

He remembers they ended up eating strawberry vanilla ice cream while watching one-fourth of the movie collection that weekend. Damian couldn't finish his homework on time and it was Dick's fault. Bruce scolded him while Talia gave him a disapproving gaze, turning her nose up at him. But it was so worth it that it helped launch a starting point for Damian to come out of his shell – at least for him. It also helped them discover Damian's new found interest in Disney movies and strawberry ice cream. It took much longer for Damian to open up to the rest of the family that Bruce was even jealous of their bi-weekly ice cream trips without him. If Bruce wanted to come, he should have asked.

Dick really needs to stop making a habit of spacing out as he finds himself standing in front of the library's lobby without remembering how he got there. He bumped into Wally walking out of the library with textbooks in his hands. He quickly apologized and took two textbooks from Wally's stack to ease his load. Dick recognized one of them as texts on biological engineering – a class he took many years ago to fill a general education requirement. Thankfully he passed all because of Wally.

“Thanks Dick,” Wally said gratefully as they left the library together. Dick tucks the textbooks under his arm to open the door for Wally to go through.

Although they work in the same campus, they are both in different departments. Wally is in the bio-engineering department while Dick is part of the psychology department. Both earned their doctoral degree together, enduring odd hours of studying and stress filled nights.

Dick grinned as they left the building to go to the science department. Being out in the warm weather with his best friend is so relaxing that it took his mind off of things. By the courtyard he could see students enjoying the weather as well. There are some studying outside, playing with their friends, or sunbathing with soothing music playing in the background. If he doesn't have any work to he would have join them and relax under the sun.

“So how are you and Linda doing?” Dick asked.

“Oh you know, just peachy,” Wally answered. “She's going to a press conference this Friday so I have the whole place to myself. You should totally come.”

Dick sighed, shaking his head. “I can't. Damian is staying at my place this week. Can't leave him at home by himself.”

Wally scoffed. “Demon brat? C'mon, I'm sure that kid can take care of himself. Isn't he like...twelve or something?”

“He's sixteen.” And that fact made himself cringe on how messed up their situation has become.

“Wow really? They grew up so fast. Teenagers are the worse; they're full of raging hormones and throw a party the minute they are left alone. Gods know that I would have done the same at his age or something similar but that kid isn't normal.”

Dick hummed in thought as that might be the reason why Damian has been acting weird. He snickered at the thought of Damian throwing a party. Damian wasn't like the other teenagers and didn't get along with his peers. He would rather curl up on the couch with a good book or sketch something.

But at his age before Damian came to live with them, there was this one time that Dick threw a party at the manor and it was the most talked about legend of Gotham High. It boosted his popularity significantly (not that he really need it) and gotten a lot of phone numbers from people not just from his school. Outrageous stories were concocted ranging for cops coming to arrest people, an orgy taking place in one of the spare rooms (thank god it was false), or someone riding a cow through the gardens. By the end of the night he was grounded for three months and was assigned grunt chores under Alfred's strict supervision.

In hindsight maybe he should have kept a better eye on his brothers because there was an uploaded video of Tim swinging on the chandelier and Jason's Instagram photo showing off his newly pierced tongue. But on the bright side that's how Tim met Kon and Jason's piercing didn't get an infection.

“I'll stop by.”

 

 

After a long day Dick enters his apartment wanted nothing more than take a nap. In the living room he could see Damian sitting on the sofa doing something on his laptop.

“I'm home,” Dick called, kicking his shoes off by the door as he walks toward the kitchen. “Did you eat dinner yet?”

Damian quickly switched tabs on his laptop as Dick was walking behind him. “I did.”

Dick makes a noncommittal noise, glancing at what Damian was doing. The tab was blank but earlier he thought he saw some food video on his laptop. He has to admit, Damian did improved his cooking since last night's dinner. The vegetables he made aren't as dry and the smoke detector didn't ring. If it's anything to go by, it's a sure sign of improvement.

But that's not what he wants to talk to Damian about.

At the moment he doesn't know what Damian is thinking about these days and wants to get a sense of what he is dealing with. It could be just a passing phase or teenage rebellion but by the end of the day, they are still family. Dick sighed, he grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge and poured it into two tall glass. He brought it over to where Damian is sitting and sits right across from him.

“So Damian,” Dick started, placing the glasses on the coffee table. “There's supposed to be college placement tests coming soon. Have you decided what colleges you wanted to go to?”

“I have,” Damian answered.

“Oh?”

“Gotham University.”

“Oh, my school!” Dick perked up. He took a sip from his glass before continuing. “What major?”

“Sociology.”

Dick could feel his right eye twitching and places his glass down. That was his field of study as a sociology professor. Damian wouldn't be interested in that so why would he ever –

Oh hell no.

“Oh, really?” Dick said with fake enthusiasm. “Did you know it's a branch off from the study of psychology? I actually chose that concentration in my third year. Or was it my second year? Well it doesn't matter. Most students didn't chose their concentration of study until their second year and schools are flexible when you decided to change your mind. But I'm glad you're interested – ”

“I'm actually not interested in sociology that much,” Damian interrupted, looking away.

Dick's eyebrows scrunched to display confusion. “Huh? Then why are you choosing majors at random?”

“It's not random!”

“Kid, you better not be thinking college is just four years of partying – ”

“I know that! I chose that college and that major because the psychology department has you in it!”

Dick looks shocked, his eyes widened from Damian's outburst. To hear it said out loud rather than a theory in his head is just shocking.

Dick's expression quickly shifted to hide his discomfort, avoiding Damian's scrutiny.

“Uh-huh, uh-huh. Thank you, I'm flattered,” Dick nodded, waving him off. “But I'm telling you, Gotham University is no pushover. Even though it's not like Ivy University but with your half-assed motivation – “

“It's not half-assed motivation! Lots of people choose their school because there's a certain professor they like there. It's normal!”

“No they don't!”

Damian's tone didn't waver, confidence and assurances ingrained in his speech, but his wide eyes screamed a thousand times louder. Although Damian is skilled to school his emotions, a trait that he inherited from both of his parents, Dick could see that his mask started to crack. Damian's parents are passionate in what they believe in and that trait seemed to pass onto their son.

Even if it was for the wrong reason.

Dick gets up to leave. Damian is not thinking straight and if he continues he might do something that he might regret.

“It's not normal and you know it.”

“So what? It's all the same once I get accepted!

Dick picks up his bag from the side of the couch and moves to the door. He counts to ten in his head and take deep even breaths doesn't seem to cut it as he gets a headache from hearing Damian's immaturity. To say that he's grown and mature is an understatement if they could just hear him now.

“If you think you can get into GU with your parent's name and influence then you don't deserve to get accepted. Thinking that sociology as nothing more than a stepping stone is immature of you.”

Damian moves in front of Dick stop him from leaving. It seems that Damian is losing control as his eyes are wild and his voice raised.

“I don't need anyone's help to get in because I will get in!” Damian yelled at him. “And I will take your classes, just you wait!”

“Why does it have to be me?!”

“It's because it's you!”

That is not a reason of itself as Dick feel his hackles rise go through him, causing violent shivers going up and down his spine. Damian is blabbering nonsense but the way he said it – proclaim it, and the intense look in his eyes. All the signs of immaturity and conviction that it makes Dick pissed off.

“Why do you keep doing this, trying to invade into my life?!”

Something seems to snap as he steps into Damian's space abruptly and knocks him down to the floor. In seconds his body is over Damian's with hips and legs pressed together. He grabbed both of Damian's wrists and held them on either side of his head, staring down into Damian's widened eyes. The boy below him didn't show any emotion waiting for his next move. Some of the fire in Damian's eyes have diminished but the flame is still there along with something unfamiliar.

“You've sure got some weird kinks or has it been that long since you got any?” Dick purred, giving Damian a fake half-smile. “You're pretty popular, aren't you? Smart, handsome – a real Wayne. If you're looking for someone to fool around with, why don't you try someone else?”

Dick lowers himself close to Damian's face, nuzzling his cheek. “Or is it just me,” Dick whispered into Damian's ear. “Did you think that I'm easy? Then you have your wish.”

He doesn't look at Damian's face as his lips crashes onto the boy's. Dick could feel Damian's body stiffen as the wrists he was holding trembled. All the while Dick closes his eyes and focus on something other than Damian's lips, not wanting to see what he's about to do next.

Dick removes one of his hands pining Damian's wrist and moves them beneath the boy's waist band. Damian jolted at the contact and gasped into Dick's mouth. His body keened with the touch of the hand fully wrapped around him. He turns away and leaned his forehead on the floor beside Damian, pushing against the cool hard wood floor.

He could feel Damian breathing quicken with every stroke and Damian's freed hand grasped the back of Dick's shirt. Dick's eyes clenched tight, ducking his head into Damian's right shoulder desperately to hide his shame. The chest below him moves up and down pressed against him, letting his own body weight rest against him. He could practically feel Damian's heart beating faster from fear maybe. With how close they are it feels like they are connected, moving in sync but it all made Dick feel much sicker.

It feels warm and different. He doesn't want to concentrate on the heat he's holding in his hand so he bites down hard on Damian's shoulder. He could hear Damian gasped but ignores it. His teeth seized Damian's clothed shoulder, biting down onto the clothed flesh to mute the scream he wanted to make.

Dick could feel Damian getting close as his breath shortens and his hand moving closer to the back of Dick's neck, twisting the fabric of his shirt, brushing his hair. He stroke quicker to match Damian's pace, whose hips jerking up a few times. Oh so close to Dick's exposed neck before Damian lets out a shudder as tension left his body. His hand dropped away from holding Dick's shirt with a thud.

And that's that, Dick thought as he lets go of Damian. For a few seconds, only the sound of their labored breath filled the room. He pulls back to give them space, with both of his hands resting on the floor supporting his weight. He achieved his goal; Damian gets burned and angry. He'll let Damian beat him up as revenge on this very floor before he goes running home to lick his wounds. Their relationship is destroyed but it is for the best. With any luck he'll probably see Damian for Christmas dinner... in ten years.

When Dick opened his eyes he felt a bucket of cold water poured down on him. Damian stares up at the space Dick was hovering over him but not actually looking at him. A circle of red around Damian's hand that was pinned by Dick was unclenched from a fist, lying there bonelessly. The clothed shoulder he was biting on earlier left and imprinted with his teeth marks and saliva moved in tandem to Damian's heavy breath. But the most shocking of all were his eyes. His eyes were glassy and widened not laced with anger but from fear.

Suddenly aware of the position they are in, Dick scrambled away from Damian as though he was the one burned, shakily standing up. He tried to keep his breathing calm as he grabbed his bag he dropped earlier and staggered out of his apartment. He got to the stairwell at the end of the hall before he collapsed on the top of the steps and lets out a shuddering gasp.

Dick couldn't believe what he just did to Damian was sick and disgusting. He gripped his hair and banged his fist on the step he is sitting on in agony. He would never hurt his family and yet he purposely hurt his youngest brother. He couldn't imagine what Damian must have felt to be taken advantage of someone he trusted. He remembers telling himself that if Damian doesn't want it, he could always get out of it. The second he felt Damian pushing him away, he would leave. He just wanted to scare Damian a little so that he would back off but it's too late to take it all back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter

_He wants to say that he saw it coming but everyone probably knew it was going to turn out this way. After Bruce found out that Talia was planning a hostile takeover of Wayne Enterprises, an all out war has erupted between them. Their dispute has affected their personal and professional lives greatly affecting everyone around them. Divorce was imminent and the fallout would be catastrophic. Innocent people have been caught in the crossfire and it has become the most talked about news of Gotham City._

_Talia manipulated Bruce into an impossible situation. They didn't know how long have she planned this. Maybe since before their marriage or even earlier before Damian was born. But that doesn't mean that he will stand by and watch his world crumble. Bruce will do everything he can to prevent that from happening._

_And Dick will help in anyway he can. He walks through the long lonely halls of Wayne Manor with a destination in mind. He returned to show the family his support but it doesn't seem necessary as Bruce has recruited Tim, the neurotic boy genius, to help him with his case. With the two best and brightest minds put together, there wasn't any need for Dick to come._

_But that's not who he needs to help._

_He opens the door to the cinema room and steps inside. He moves to sit besides Damian who was watching the movie intently, not paying attention to the intruder._

“ _What are we watching?” Dick asked softly. He knows the movie as he watched it a long time ago. He wanted to get Damian to answer but he doesn't respond._

“ _Don't leave me!” cried the little girl on screen as she was ushered away._

_Damian lips silently moved and his fist scrunches the side of his shirt. His eyebrows frowned and his mouth twisted to hold it in. He tries to hide it but this is the most vulnerable reaction laid bare beside him. He knows Damian is trying to show that he's strong but he doesn't need to, not to him. If Dick doesn't correctly react, Damian would angrily deny and stomp away. But he needs to know that he won't be alone._

“ _Do you want to stay here? With us?” Dick asked. He doesn't look at Damian, keeping his eyes straight watching the movie. On the screen the protagonist is running after the car that the little girl was in before he collapse to his knees on the street in exhaustion._

_Dick could see Damian's hand close to him twitching almost as though he wanted to reach out and grab Dick's hand sitting beside him. Damian abruptly stands up to leave but Dick grabs his wrist to stop him. Dick looks up at him but Damian doesn't turn around, not wanting to face him._

“ _I won't let them take you away without a choice,” Dick said, looking at the small wrist in his hand. He squeezed lightly and offered Damian a reassuring smile. “As long as you want to stay, we'll always be with you.”_

_Dick lets go of Damian's wrist and watches him run out of the room. The boy is too young to be caught in the crossfire. He may act all big, tough, and mature as Tim or Jason but he's not. He just wanted acceptance from a family to love him. And Dick has grown fond of Damian and couldn't bear to see him return to being an al Ghul._

_He got up and walked towards Bruce's study. His relationship with Bruce has been on the rocks since before his return. The last time he left they ended on a bad note with things that couldn't be taken back. For the longest time he stares at the door willing to open on its own. He wants to save Damian._

_Dick opens the door and stepped into the study. Bruce sat at his desk with legal documents spread out on his desk and looks up at his visitor. He looks tired and stressed that Dick could interpret as vulnerable and reckless for knowing him so well._

_Bruce walked around from his desk to stand in front of Dick. He slowly reaches up, resting his hand on Dick's shoulder before moving to cup his cheek to look at him better. His hand feels cold and callous yet it makes him feel warm inside, wanting to lean into the touch._

“ _Dick.”_

 

“Dick.”

Dick woke up slowly to a smooth tenor voice calling his name. The warmth on his cheek left immediately as he tilted his head. His vision was blurry from sleep and squinted his eyes to a looming figure hovering over him.

“ _Bruce?”_ Dick thought. “ _What is he doing here?”_

His vision was getting clearer and could see that it wasn't Bruce calling him but Damian. The same frown and figure of his father. Eyes that may seem heartless but hold a lot of warmth for those he care.

With Damian's face close to him, it was enough for Dick to jump wide awake and fall off the couch. Dick yelped as he scrambled away from Damian to the farthest corner of his office when he became too close to his liking, clutching the throw blanket close to his body as security.

“W-W-What are you doing here?!” Dick stammered. Dick couldn't go back to his apartment to confront Damian so he stayed at his office for the night. Luckily he worked so many late nights that his office comes equipped with a sofa, a pillow, and a throw blanket.

“You didn't come home last night,” Damian stated, watching Dick curiously from where he stood. He looks calm and nonchalant considering what happened to him. “It's morning now.”

Dick took a glance at the window and see morning light pouring into his small office. With the clock next to the window showing the time, he yawned and stretched his arms above his head. Hopefully the cafe next door is open so he could grab their breakfast bagel and white chocolate mocha.

But he has to deal with this guy first.

“Damian, let me take this opportunity to make something clear,” said Dick, scratching his head. “I'm older than you and we are brothers. I'm sorry but I'm not interested in you in that way.”

Damian crossed his arms. “Not by blood. Then are you interested in guys?” he asked.

Dick paused for a moment to think then shrugged. “Does it really matter?”

“Then there's no problem with us being together.”

Dick scoffed at his simplistic answer. To be young and naïve, that's not the way the world works. He got up and folded the throw blanket and stored his pillow away. “You have terrible taste. Why me?”

Dick groaned when he realized he's still in yesterday's clothes and didn't brush his teeth. He could go home to refresh himself since his first class starts in three hours. Probably enough time to go back and forth and maybe eat his breakfast on his commute.

“C'mon you gotta go,” Dick said. He picks up his bag and moves to usher Damian to the door. “It's a school day and you should be in class right now.”

“I'm on vacation.”

“Yeah well you can't stay here so scoot.”

Its now Damian's turn to grab Dick's wrist. It caught his attention and was forced to look at Damian in the eye. He wasn't able to look at Damian properly ever since that brunch incident and wants to avoid looking back since...yesterday. But seeing him facing him eye to eye at almost the same height level puts some new thoughts into perspective. Damian isn't the same little boy he knows before. But this man – boy before him is not familiar either.

“Stop trying to run away. I just want to be with you.”

Its ironic how that statement sound considering how emotionally stunted their family is. Bruce in particular. Only Dick has ever been known to reach out and confront their problems and now he's the one running away. But in his defense he's just keeping his distance so he wouldn't hurt Damian anymore.

Dick sighed in response. “I already told you what I want so why are you so persistent on being with me?”

The wrist that Damian was holding dropped down but didn't let go. It's Damian's turn to look away from Dick, staring at the wrist he's holding in his hand.

“I never really need to try hard in school or in sports. I never have to worry about money and can get anything I want. I was raised to believe that no one will be a match for me in mind and body so there's really nothing I want to do or want to be. I always thought I would follow the path mother or father has set for me but it's not enough. I found just one thing that I want and that's you.”

Damian turned the wrist he's holding in his hand and raising it up to place it on Dick's cheek. Dick sharply inhaled as his hand stiffened feeling Damian's face. He could feel himself tremble from fear, wanting to get away as Damian raised his head to meet Dick's eyes. His cheeks slowly turned pink and spoke softly without the edge it normally held.

“Is it so bad that my feelings for you are something more?”

 


	5. Chapter 5

The day is finally over and Dick has to deal with the problem waiting for him back home. He wished that he was still at school; lecturing, writing, or holding extra office hours. Anything. It's almost mid-terms week and he bet his students would have appreciated the extra help.

Dick entered his apartment and tossed his bag on the sofa and goes to the kitchen to drop his groceries. He checks the time before moving to get the pots and pans. He doesn't know where Damian goes all day but hopefully he's early enough so that they can have a break from Damian's cooking. He'll prepare enough food to last Damian for a couple days until Bruce and Alfred return.

Lately his thoughts always goes back to Damian. Even when he's lecturing or grading papers his mind strays to the frowning boy he once knew. But he's got to hand it to him, that boy got zeal. Just as headstrong as both of his parents and turn into a fine young man, taking after Bruce...

“ _Is it so bad that my feelings for you are something more?”_

He's been turning those words over and over in his head; trying to understand what it means and how he should proceed. So far none of his possible solutions would work and it ended up with him thinking more about him more. But those words reminded him of his own situation a long time ago that he's never been able to get over.

Dick washes the meat and vegetables before he prepares to cook them. He's turning the vegetables around on the skillet while the chicken is baking in the stove. Behind him the rice is cooking, but by the time its done others will be done as well. In some ways this is therapeutic to his lonely life living as a bachelor.

He plucks a mushroom from the pan and pops it into his mouth, humming a tone to a pop song he heard on the radio. He's got to hand it to himself that his cooking skills have come a long way. He used to be in Damian's shoes when he first started out. But Damian has been learning fast that soon he'll be able to cook without burning anything.

He just finished setting the table when Damian walks in. He looks at the dishes curiously before looking over Dick's shoulder at the cooking station.

“You're just in time,” Dick grinned. “I thought I'd give you a break and let me cook for you.”

Damian frowned a bit and left the kitchen to put down his stuff. Dick places the food on the center of the table and helps himself to the rice. Damian came back and sits across from Dick, helping himself to the food before him.

Dinner was a quiet for the most part. Dick kept stealing glances but Damian didn't seem to notice. He asked questions about his day and the reply he received were either a grunt or a one word answer. It's almost like they were back to square one when they first met and he feels almost relieved.

After dinner he lets Damian shower while he cleans up the kitchen. He just placed the last bowl on the dish rack when Damian spoke up.

“That's a lot of food left over.”

Dick didn't turn around as he dried his hands, staring at the sink. “I hope you like it because it should last for a couple of days.”

“You're trying to run away from me.”

Dick inwardly scowled. He wants to get out and hide in his room but knows that Damian is blocking the exit.

“I'm not,” Dick answered. “Cooking is time consuming that I might not have the time nor energy to spare. Brother or not, Alfred would scold me of being a bad host.”

“I could always use the practice,” Damian suggested.

Dick turns around and gave Damian a small smile. “That's alright. Your a guest, you shouldn't need to cook.”

Dick goes around Damian and moves to the living room. He sits on the sofa and takes out the stack of papers from his bag to grade. Damian sits on the couch across from him. He was actually expecting Damian to retire to his room, not sitting and watching him.

“You don't exactly look relaxed in your own home,” Damian remarked, his leg crossed over his knee. “And so distracted lately.”

Dick doesn't take the bait, concentrating hard on his student's paper. He feels like he's been reading the same paragraph too long, not moving to make any marks. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Are one of those things about falling in love with me?”

Dick sighs as he tries his best to ignore Damian. It doesn't seem like he could do his work if he sticks around but leaving would mean that he lost. “That's the farthest thing from my mind right now.”

They sat in silence in the living room with the sound of pages flipping and pen moving around the paper. Dick doesn't need to look up to know that Damian hasn't moved from his spot. He does his best to concentrate on the student's paper but finds it difficult to do being subject to Damian's calculating stare.

Finishing one of the papers, Dick moves to get another. Feeling bold enough that he managed to finish grading one paper, he decided to address the elephant in the room. “Was there something you needed to say?”

Damian narrowed his eyes and tilted his head at the question. “You're acting strange.”

Dick scoffed at the understatement of the year. Considering its been years since they had last seen each other and the incident from a night or so ago, maybe that statement is applicable to both of them. He's not used to Damian's new style and he doesn't know how to react accordingly. Dick opts for silence to be acceptable to Damian's answer and lets him interpret it however he wish.

But it didn't seem like silence is acceptable so Damian continues. “The life of a professor doesn't seem that interesting. But I'm sure this profession you have choosen doesn't prohibit you from pursuing your own love life.”

Dick makes another mark on his student's paper, concentrating on the same sentence. “Are you implying something Damian? It isn't your style to beat around the bushes.”

“It isn't,” Damian replied. “But I think there's no better way to breach the topic unless I outright and say that I know what you are and how cowardly you have been.”

Damian pulled himself up and fold his hands on top of his knees to look at the man whose eyes are hidden away with the tuft of his hair. “Since my family's union with yours I've noticed things about you. You let people walk over you and make false assumptions about you including your own family members and friends. Most of the times their underestimation is their folly but you have nothing to gain from letting do such. You only argued back when you wanted to defend someone but often times you held yourself back for their sake. A paradox of a man for all the wrong reasons.”

“Are you pointing out my flaws?” Dick asked, turning the next page. “Because Jason made a list, probably alphabetized them too.”

Damian ignores him and snarled. “You showed the most control with me, Drake, and Pennyworth. You were the most relaxed with West but always on guard. You were have the least control with Todd because both of you have issues with the same person. But your issues with the man in question led to your self-blindness and destruction that people would consider you a masochist for accepting such abuse.”

Dick looks up sharply at what Damian is implying. He dropped his pen in shock but didn't move to pick it up. “Damian he never – “

“Abuse has many forms and you accepted his indifference. Your chemistry with him is acidic and base; fighting battles that are not yours to fight and mediating as his counsel when he calls.” Damian sounded angry, that his voice was anything but kind at the moment. “There are times you let yourself lose control around him but you always held yourself back on one thing you would never to say to him.”

Dick knew Damian never needed to say his name as they both knew. The unspoken name is enough said of how the both of them may feel about him. Saying his name might open the floodgates of feelings that acknowledges to both of them that it was all true.

He started to pack his stuff, avoiding Damian and his words. He tells himself its all accusation and lies spouting out of Damian's mouth. The son of Wayne wants to hurt him, to pay back for what he did and more.

Damian follows Dick out to the hallway to continue his tirade. He has trouble putting on his shoes messily with thoughts jumbled up in his mind distracting him.

“You know you're superfluous don't you?" Damian goaded. "The charade you wrapped yourself, does Gordon know about it? I see that's what eats you away at night. Not just that you're forever in his shadow but that you love him more than just father and son. Never allowed to truly help, never permitted to save him from himself. You just stood by his side and flock to him when he calls for you. But I begin to see why he kept you around...its flattering such devotion. Was this what it was like to love my father?”

Dick turns around to argue and met Damian’s blue eyes staring up at him. For a second it was as if Bruce standing before him. Bruce with his piercing gaze, his dark lashes blinking, and his firm mouth down-turned with a frown. But the words that came out of his mouth – has gone too far and Dick wishes he'd just shut up. He slammed his hand on the wall next to Damian and corners him.

Dick leveled a glare. “Damian, don't stick your nose into other people's business where they don't belong. You think you know me but that's the farthest conclusion you've come up with.”

Damian matches Dick's glare with his own. “I care because the man I love has unrequited feelings for someone else. He's a hypocrite and oblivious in realizing that love is standing in front of him.”

There's just so much that Dick could take. Damian's words cut deep and it felt like he couldn't get past the hurt he buried in the dark recess of his heart. He suddenly felt like his younger self whose heart always suffocate just being around him. Always putting up the fake eyes and smile while his heart screams. He never knew he could reach this point with him but Damian is starting to piss him off.

Dick eases up and leans on the wall next to Damian. “Just because you have some silly ideas lodged in your head doesn't mean you can push other people around,” Dick said as he hugs himself in the middle to keep himself in check. “Don't use words like “love” or “destiny” around so easily. This isn't one of your romantic fantasy books, this is real.”

“When have I ever said it so easily?!” Damian responded defensively. “I would still love you even after you were gone!”

Dick sharply inhaled in shock. It struck a chord of a painful memory.

“ _Thank you for loving me.”_

Another love that he couldn't have. The memory hits him hard, thinking about the future he was supposed to have. He could almost hear her faraway giggle and his soft cries. 

“Why are you so hung up on me?” Dick asked, tiredly repeating like a broken record. “We haven't seen each other in two years or more. I never gave any indication of feelings something more and you never did either.”

“But before, you were –,” Damian seemed to be lost for words. He opens and closes his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Dick looks at him curiously, wondering what Damian meant to say. Whatever he wanted to say, Damian is holding it back. But from what?

Damian clenched his fist, looking at his shoes. “Sleep with me...,” Damian muttered.

“Huh?”

“Maybe it'd help me understand, figure something out. And maybe I'll be disgusted with you and give up the whole thing.”

Dick's right eye twitched in annoyance. He doesn't know whether he should feel flabbergasted or punked by this. Laugh or cry how horrible his life turns out. But his feelings change quickly on what Damian is propositioning. On the tip of his tongue, he has the urge to lecture Damian about using people so callously, even if its an idea.

Damian caught his sleeve to stop him from leaving. “I'm tired of you writing me off like this,” he said determinedly, avoiding Dick's eyes. “Even if its just this once, I'm serious... after that I'll stop.”

Dick stopped himself, feeling that hollow feeling inside his chest grow even stronger and gave a long sigh, looking at Damian again. Maybe he's so tired of this game Damian's playing that the words tumbled out of his mouth will be something he will regret.

“Okay.”

Damian looks up sharply as though he isn't hearing it correctly. Dick has the urge to laugh and brush it off as a joke. But he didn't and he wished he had.

“Do it,” Dick repeated, uncrossing his arms from his chest as an open invitation. “I'm not in the mood right now but if you're serious, do it.”

Damian's face heats up, his hand twitching on his side. “Okay...”

Damian places his hand on Dick's shoulder, steering him to lean against the wall. He reaches up for Dick's face and kisses him. It was messy and unsure that its almost like Damian doesn't know what he's doing.

They finally parted and Dick blinks down at Damian, looking out of breath and...scared. He doesn't stop him when Damian licks his lips before reaching up to pull Dick down for another kiss. The hand that wasn't holding Dick's head in place slithers up to unbutton Dick's shirt. His touches were hesitant yet insistent as though he was holding a bomb in his hand.

As Damian continued his touch, Dick starts to feel angry. He's probably the type of person that Dick hated the most. Damian is known for all talk and most of the time he can back it up. With no regard for other people's feelings, he just barges in without permission wherever he damn well please. He could probably blame both of his parent's lineage but to Dick its almost as if he's looking at his old self and it pisses him off.

Damian makes a startled noise as Dick roughly grabbed his hand that was edging toward his waistband and drags him to his room. He throws Damian onto his bed and climbs on top of him, straddling his waist with his legs on either side of him. Damian looks up at him with wide eyes and flushed. His chest moving up and down with each sharp breath he took. He looks painfully young staring up at him, reminding him what he did to him early on the floor.

Dick took over as he moves over to the hem of Damian's shirt. Hands move to take it off, revealing a toned, youthful body, proof of how well Damian is taking care of himself. His former family's upbringing encourages them to keep themselves in tip top shape wherever they go.

“Grayson,” Damian said with hesitance and caution, reaching to remove Dick's shirt as well.

His hand glided over Dick's chest as though he was touching a valuable artifact. For a moment there, Dick almost decided to get up and leave so that they can avoid what happened last time. But he couldn't move, all he could do was stare.

Damian is like Bruce; having the ability to shake him up and throw everything off balance. They've always butted heads, capable of hurting each other in the cruelest of ways. Everything has to go his way or no way at all. And it's always him that returns, telling the whole world he's surrendering to the all mighty Wayne. Everything about Damian reminds him that he's his father's son and that's why he shouldn't get near him.

Almost sensing what Dick was thinking, Damian reached up to Dick's cheek forcing him to look at him. “Dick...please.”

Its like something snapped inside of him as he started to move. He tried to force himself not to think about Bruce as he descended upon Damian, taking him as everything becomes faint and distant around him.

 

 

Everything restarts has become too much. His skin feels tingly as he sits up on the bed and stares at the sheet covering his bare body. He didn't dare to look at Damian lying beside him, not moving while he clears his senses.

Eventually Damian moves to get up. He tenderly gets out of bed and starts picking up his clothes that were tossed to the floor. He kept his back facing Dick, putting on his clothes slowly.

Dick finally looks up and sees Damian's naked back. Despite the lack of light in his room he could see red angry marks made by him for latching on. What caught his attention was the bruised bite mark on Damian's broad, tanned shoulder. It wasn't until Damian's shirt covering it that he realized that it was the shoulder he bit on when he took Damian on the floor.

You've marked him, Dick's traitorous mind supplied. It's not who you wanted but this is the closest you will ever get to be with him.

Dick's eyes started to water at the accusation, hugging himself tight to will it that it wasn't true. His fingernails clenches his shoulders painfully, feeling so sick that he wanted to throw up.

“I'll stop,” Damian said quietly before he left the room. A moment later the sound of the front door closing meant that Damian left the apartment.

Finally alone, Dick grabs the pillow by the headboard. He could smell Damian's scent his head was on earlier mixed with his own. With a deep breath he covered his face with the pillow and screams into it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mind blown, a bomb has dropped. don't worry, hopefully the boys can work their issues out :)


	6. Chapter 6

_Dick entered his room after his last class for the day. Deadlines are just around the corner and he needs a good rest to prepare himself._

_He was surprised to see the littlest Wayne sitting on top of his bed by the headboard as though he's living here instead. “Hey, Little D. How did you get in?”_

_Damian glared up at him from his phone he was previously playing on. “College students lack the basic common sense of security. And they are supposedly the future leaders of tomorrow.”_

_Dick dropped his bag in the corner and sat on his desk. He simultaneously grabbed a study sheet from his backpack while rummaging through his drawer for something. “Does Alfred know you're up here? It's three hours from Gotham.”_

“ _You haven't come home.”_

“ _I have to study.” Dick fished out a poptart from his drawer and proceeded to unwrap the film. “I'll come back after the semester is over.”_

“ _You haven't come home since the trial and spring vacation. You've been avoiding me, is it my fault?”_

“ _What?! No, I haven't been avoiding you.” Dick moves to stand beside Damian and rested his hand on his shoulder. “None of it is your fault. It's just the adults have been so selfish that they can't see past their own noses. I know how tough it must have been but I assure you that both of your parents love you.”_

“ _They don't.”_

“ _What?”_

 _Damian tugged away from Dick's hand and crossed his arms. “Did you know what I gave up to stay? It's not just_ nothing _to me. After the trial, father has been distant with me like he doesn't know what to do with me. It was awkward and I felt out of place. And I-I can't go back to mother.”_

 _Dick felt guilty about for how the boy felt and that he couldn't do anything to make it better. He stopped himself from reaching out to Damian._ “ _I'm sorry Damian, I didn't know. I thought it would be best if I give you guys some space that it would bring you both much closer.”_

“ _Then come home with me!”_

“ _You know I can't. Its...complicated.”_

“ _No I don't know because you never tell me! You basically abandoned me at that house! It wasn't whats best for me or father, it was you!”_

“ _Damian I can't! You know that's not true – “_

“ _Whatever. I don't even know why I came here,” Damian gets up from the bed angrily and snatches up his backpack lying on the floor. He stopped when he reached the door, his actions hesitant and resigned.“It doesn't feel like home without you and I'd rather much like it if we could stay together.”_

 

“When I said that you should come over and hang out, I didn't mean moping in my bed.”

Dick groaned when Wally pulls up the blinds. The sun shining into the room made Dick burrow deeper into the blankets. Sometimes Wally's upbeat attitude makes him want to slap him upside the head. And people say he's the happy one, they've never met Wally.

Wally sat down besides the blanket cocoon, patting the top of what he assumes to be Dick's head. “Trouble in paradise? You've been in there for three days – I counted. Did you and Damian have a fight or something?”

Dick mumbled into Wally's pillow, batting away his hand. After what he did to Damian, he couldn't stand being in his own apartment. So he packed some of his belongings and hightailed it to Wally's indefinitely. All he's done all day was curled up in Wally's bed, feeling lifeless and sad. Every time he slept, he kept remembering that regrettable incident. He didn't know where Damian is but a text inquiry from Alfred wondering why Damian checked into a hotel eased some of his worries.

Damian has been pestering him to fall in love with him and now that he's gone, he misses his presence. He hasn't seen Damian for years ever since he decided to study abroad but at that time he's alright with him not being there. But Damian's presence is starting to make him miss the boy even when they are separated not too long ago.

Wally attacks Dick's fortress blanket of depression by head-butting it, trying to move Dick from the hogging the whole bed. When there was enough room for him to lay down, Wally plopped down with a huff.

“Look I don't know what this is about but you need to face it sooner or later.” Wally laid himself on top of Dick's blanket burrito, hoping to squish him. “As much as I love being the big spoon in this relationship, you're a blanket hog and that's just sad.”

“I'm not sad. I'm depressed,” Dick murmured.

“Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?”

“Wally, you ignorant slut,” Dick automatically retorted, his lips twitched at the response. It must have been what Wally was going for because he could feel Wally shaking from his silent laughter. Wally took lifted an end of the blanket so he can join in the blanket nest. But Dick still avoided showing his face, burrowing into the nook of his elbow. His eyes were swollen from crying and his cheeks are stained with dried tear tracks.

“Fine, you're sulking,” Wally relented, nudging Dick's arm with the top of his head. “But that doesn't make it any better.”

Wally stretches his arm and wraps it around Dick's shoulder. He uses his legs to pull him in, blanket and all, acting as the big spoon. Dick sighs into the comfort, snuggling closer. Wally's scent and warmth helps ground him to something familiar. He likes being held but his mind still feels restless.

Sometimes he asked himself why couldn't he fall in love with somebody like Wally. They both know exactly how far they could go before it becomes 'too far' because they understand each other. Relationships are all about keeping the proper distance as it is the foundation of all peace. Both of them know how to take a hint and read between the lines. At one point of their lives some of their friends and family members mistaken them for being in a relationship because of how close they are. They know how to take care of each other, understanding what the other wants. There's no headaches nor drama and in the long run that is what he wants.

And Damian just kept pushing those said boundaries causing Dick to cross them and destroy them entirely.

“Wally? This is just a hypothetical,” Dick said, nervously shifting in Wally's embrace, “but see, there's this kid who just won't leave me alone, keeps following me around professing they love me. And its a pretty big age gap and I'm not interested...I mean, this gu – person isn't even the type I'm interested in. But this... person...keeps ranting on about loving me and having fallen for me, without caring how I feel. So if someone like that shows up, how would you feel?”

At that moment Dick thought he may have asked the wrong question if that long stretched of silence was anything to go by.

"Sounds like a stalker," Wally finally answered. “But if you think that person is okay and you constantly thought about them, chances are you may have some feelings for them. But we're just speaking hypothetically, right?”

Dick just hummed in agreement, wondering when his life has become this complicated. He still wishes he was young and carefree, not worrying over something like this. Internally he's freaking out about that possible feeling.

Wally turned burrito Dick onto his stomach, squishing him into the mattress. “Hypothetically, is this about a student that's been giving you trouble because hypothetically its about time you noticed your admirers,” Wally said, keeping his tone light. “Are they good-looking like moi? Hypothetically, is this about a certain orphan with his unrequited feelings for another orphan? Maybe someone older?”

If Dick had his usual amount of energy he would vehemently deny it and tackle Wally or storm out of the apartment. But he knows Wally didn't mean him any harm and knows he has his best interest at heart. After all, he's the one he goes to when thinking about Bruce becomes to much.

And what does he mean he has admirers? At the school he's teaching? No way!

“It's none of those things,” Dick answered muffled into the bed. “It's hypothetical, remember?”

“Just asking, birdie.”

With one last squeeze, Wally untangles himself from Dick and gets off the bed. “I bought extra portions from Big Belly Burger if you wanna eat some lunch-” he raised his eyebrow at Dick's unkempt state- “after you shower and brush your teeth.”

With that, Wally left Dick alone on his bed. Truth it did made him feel better enough to get out of his slump but barely enough to stop thinking about it. He wondered if Wally's answers would have been different if he knew that it was Damian he was talking about. Ever since it happened Dick's been filled with shame for his actions, wishing he could have blur it out like he usually did.

“ _Is it so bad that my feelings for you are something more?”_

He tainted those words with the things he had done. Damian wouldn't felt the same about him anymore. And all he could do now is groaned as he turns over on his back and stares up at the ceiling with exhausted eyes.

 

After Wally kicked him out, Dick reluctantly returns to the apartment. He doesn't know if he could even step foot in the place after what he did. The hallway, the living room, his own room; everything about this place made him feel so dirty.

Dick steps into the apartment and found Damian facing away from him. Damian straightened himself up when he heard Dick walking in. The two of them stood in awkward silence, avoided looking at each other before Damian makes the first move.

“I didn't think you would be back so early and I needed to grab something.” Damian indicated the bag in his hand. “I'll be on my way.”

“Wait – ”

Dick's eyes widened from stopping Damian from walking out of that door. Almost an instinctive reflex. His mouth opens and closes like a gaping fish but he couldn't get the words to come out. And Damian seems to be surprised as well, with an expectant expression waiting for his next words.

“Want to have a drink before you go?”

 

Dick wants to smack himself for that lame excuse as he pours drinks for the both of them. But this gives him an invitation to talk to him and face his problems. He has to stop wallowing in his misery and be an adult because Damian must be feeling bad as well.

“I didn't get a chance to ask but-” Dick scratched his head in nervousness “-what do you usually do all day when I'm not here?”

“Why the sudden interest, Grayson?” Damian drawled, his finger traces the rim of his cup.

“Just curious is all.”

“A little too late for that, don't you think?”

This conversation is getting nowhere if they are both beating around the bushes. He couldn't help but notice the way Damian's finger traces the rim of his cup back and forth. It's almost hypnotizing in a satisfying way.

Dick shakes his head as he folded his hand in front of him. “Damian I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. For what I did – taking advantage of you like that. I know apologies are never enough for my actions – ”

“Grayson, shut up.”

Dick looks up and blinks at the interruption. He flinched from Damian's furious expression directed at him, though he really does deserve it.

“You didn't make me do anything. This all happened by my own volition,” Damian all but spat at him.

“And I shouldn't have baited you,” Dick argued. “You're a minor and it was wrong of me to do such a thing-”

“And it was my choice and I consented,” Damian finishes his sentence, end of discussion. 

Even though in some way that Damian may have forgiven him, Dick could never forgive himself. During the restless nights he spent at Wally's, the scene keeps replaying over and over again. Sometimes from his point of view. Other times from Damian's point of view. Another is the view of an outsider. And in those dreams he could never stop himself.

It was something he should never have acted on and a line he should never have crossed. And he will regret it for the rest of his life. Dick is internally freaking out how Damian practically consented to his own...rape... Logic argued that Damian consenting meant that in his mind he's taking control and responsibility where he feels that he's in power. But Dick knows better and in his heart, even under duress, it is what it is.

Damian sighed, his glare lessened as he looks at Dick sadly. “I don't regret that it's with you but I do regret we did it under... unfavorable circumstance.”

Dick turns away from his gaze, staring at the top of his cup. Damian's gaze looks almost close to pity and it must have meant whatever respect Damian has for Dick is gone. It just made him feel a lot worse.

“I know I don't have the right to ask -” Dick started, fidgeting under Damian's attention “-but when did you...like...like me?”

He quickly corrected himself when it looks like Damian's gaze hardened. “I mean, you were mentioning love and destiny and I wanted to know what you meant.”

Damian took a moment to lean back on the couch, moving both of his arms to lean on top of the headrest. His stance is disturbingly...aesthetic.

“It started before the divorce,” Damian said slowly. “I don't really remember when I felt something more for you – maybe 13 or 15.”

Dick stiffened at the thought. Damian came into their lives when he was in public school. That was so young compared to the age he started to develop said feelings. He doesn't stop to interrupt, telling himself he needs to hear this.

Damian gave a small sad smile, staring at the table. “It was a futile and useless emotion when I felt something was wrong with me concerning you. When I'm with you, watching a movie or going out to the park, just spending time with you, I unconsciously try to be close to you. Every time you smile I get this butterfly feeling in my stomach. It feels much stronger if that smile was directed at me. I even felt angry when one of your friends can casually touch you while I can't do such a thing.”

His expression turned sour, that he all but spat his confession. “I thought it may have been puberty and hormones, a phase that will eventually pass. But even when you're not there I couldn't stop thinking about you. I never felt this way with anyone and I can't stand feeling this way being betrayed by my own body. That was why I decided to study abroad to put some distance between us. Like you did with him.”

Dick turned away in shame, knowing he did the same years ago. Damian scoffed. “Clearly it doesn't work as you are still hung up on him. For the longest time there was an empty ache in my chest. My thoughts of you weren't as strong but when we finally met again... I couldn't take it. All these old feelings of mine came crashing down like a flood. It felt good and yet it felt... suffocating. To feel like this again, with all that time and distance apart, it is destiny.”

Let it not be said that the son of Wayne and al Ghul have a way with words. It was what Damian said next has Dick speechless. “It was for my own selfish reason that I manipulated you into doing something you didn't want. Just once, that's all. After that I'd needed nothing more. As long as I have that memory, that feeling of your touch, just once is enough. It seemed to me that this is the only way I could survive.”

Dick stares at him in shock as Damian turns away. The tips of his ears are turning pink after confessing his thoughts. They sat in awkward silence taking it in before Damian gets up from the sofa.

“I'm sorry,” Damian said, turned his back to Dick. “You don't have to worry about it anymore.”

Dick moves to get up. “Damian what are you saying?”

“You won't have to see me anymore,” Damian answered stubbornly, continuing his gait to the door with Dick following close behind him.

“Wait Damian I – “ Dick's hand caught Damian's wrist, forcing him to turn around. When he caught Damian's gaze he was rendered speechless. The look of hope in Damian's eye felt like something is caught in Dick's throat, making him look so young and vulnerable. But what was he doing? With just one look from Damian alone can get him to forget what he needed – wanted to say.

Damian's face was expectant for an answer but when it became clear that Dick had nothing to say, his hopeful eyes diminished quickly into a hard look and snatched his hand back.

That seemed to snap Dick out of his trance. “What made you come back?”

Damian stops but didn't turn around. Dick has a feeling that Damian coming back to get something was just an excuse. He didn't even bring his bag with him.

“I came because I wanted to see you one last time...Dick...”

He leaves not turning around, disappearing as though he was never here in the first place. With the shut of the door, Dick slid down to the floor with his back leaning against the wall. What the hell just happen? He doesn't know what he's feeling now but something is different. Something inside him changed.

“ _Thank you for loving me.”_

For the longest time he stares at the door that Damian shuts behind him before looking at the hand that previously held Damian's. The feel and weight of his hand still warm and fresh in his mind, moves to clench his chest. With unseeing eyes he returns back to stare at the door while his heart ached with feelings he doesn't understand.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to kudos, comment, mark, and rec the fic with some love


	7. Chapter 7

It shouldn't have been a problem since Damian is going back to Australia but Dick couldn't find it in his heart to be at ease. For all the things that had happened he should have been relieved that Damian isn't going to tell anyone. He feels guilty for driving Damian away but that wasn't what got Dick so stressed over.

_"As long as I have that memory, even if it's just once it's enough."_

He guess it goes both ways because that's all he's been thinking about. The warmth of his body, the grip of his callous hands, breathing erratically as he was dragged so close. The memory haunts him every night in a good and bad way but the worst of it all was that he enjoyed it.

_"It's not who you wanted but it's the closest you will ever get to be with him."_

But what if it is who he wants to be with all along.

Frustrated, Dick threw his pillow to the side knocking something from the nightstand. He couldn't bring himself to care but he lifted his arm half an inch to see what had dropped.

It was a small little box he kept on his bedside ever since she was gone. But the thought of it brought so many memories into light. 

 

“ _Thank you for loving me.”_

_Those words were so gentle that all Dick could do was cry. It's not that he can't feel, it's that he couldn't bring himself to._

_It started during his undergrad when he met someone that could meet his match. Barbara Gordon was a graduate student, a TA for his computer science class. They met each other in the hallway when Dick saved her laptop from breaking and she repaid him with coffee. They became good friends and eventually something more. He was the first who asked her out and she was the one who initiated their relationship._

_Barbara always challenged and supported him which helped him move on from his demons. Their relationship wasn't as perfect as people made it seem to be as some of their heated arguments would carry on for days and none of them held back. But it was one of the things he love about her because she can handle the good and the bad._

_Dick thought he could finally move on and have a normal life with her. He thought they would get married and live in a white picketed fence house, have 2.5 kids, maybe a dog if the kids can prove themselves responsible enough. They would go to Wayne Manor together with Jim Gordon and spend the holidays there with the rest of the family. He would finally be able to stay in the same room as Bruce without any old feelings weighing him down. He dreamt he would spend the rest of his life with Barbara together and finally be happy._

_Cancer._

_They were too late to catch it. As soon as she knew, Barbara tried to push him away. Threw insults, tantrums, even bringing up old wounds they promised to never speak of. She knew where to cut him where it hurts the most but Dick never left and letting those words washed over him and consumed him._

“ _Hate me! Scorn me as you wish! I would do anything for you but the one thing you can't tell me what to do is telling me to leave you because I love you!”_

_He spent her last days doing whatever she wants and making her happy. He remembered on one of those days he wheeled her out to the beach. It was the during late afternoon with just the two of them at the cold shores of St. Martinique feeling the salty breeze. They went there during their first year together as a couple for spring break and this would be their last. He remembered carrying her on his back into the sea where the cold waters reaches to the back of his knees. He would hide his tears, blaming the salty sea or the setting sun if she caught[him.](http://vonight.tumblr.com/post/101848337618)_

“ _I'd still love you even if you're gone.”_

_And if she would only feel the same, then..._

“ _Thank you for loving me.”_

 

With the way Damian talked all big about love and destiny is cruel to someone with a doomed love like his. The love he gave was either never returned or cruelly taken away. There were others that he had tried to love but it never felt right nor felt strongly for them. For him it hurts to love so he closed himself off and drowned in his work. He's done it before and he doesn't expect anyone to step in.

Dick went through the last couple of days like a ghost but at least it was better than holing himself in Wally's bed again. He didn't have as much passion as he used to. He doesn't pay much attention when he graded his papers, some of his students might get a lucky/worse break. His lectures started to feel monotone and robotic as though all the life he has was sucked away. His students and TA's gave him a range of pitying looks, knowing that something has happened to their beloved professor and there's nothing they can do.

He thought about what Damian did was different than what he would have done. He never acted on his feelings because he was afraid. He never did anything and never told a soul, not even an inkling. Damian acted on his feelings even though he was afraid. He did something about it but it might not be the result that he wanted. He got his closure and maybe he could move on.

He thought he could move on with his feelings for him by finding it in Barbara. It did and for the longest time he thought he was finally free. But reality was cruel, taking that shred of happiness away from him. He almost regressed and lost control, kept himself back otherwise he would see the ugliest part of his soul. All he wanted was the hurt to go away, so close to harming himself to feel something else.

Alfred called to check up on him. Even though he couldn't honestly tell him the truth, it seems that Alfred had a feeling something happened between him and Damian, considering the disappointed tone in his voice.

But the shocking of news was Alfred telling him that Damian called him to tell him that he's returning to Australia. The fact that he had to hear it from a third person just makes him feel hurt inside. All he felt was shock and worried that Damian is leaving him.

But isn't that what Dick wanted? For Damian to leave him alone?

 

 

“Grayson, what are you doing here?”

At the airport, Dick awkwardly stands in front of Damian out of breath. He ran all the way from campus to catch a cab to the airport. Then he had to argue with the cab driver because the amount he charged was almost criminal. He was so focused on stopping Damian from leaving that it didn't occur to him to call Alfred and ask where would he be. He ended up running around the airport for flights leaving to Australia that left him out of breath and sweating. It reminds him of those Asian dramas about the protagonist racing to the airport to stop their love interest from leaving forever (don't judge him, it's his guilty pleasure).

Luckily it was fate that he found Damian walking out of the airport's coffee shop. Damian must have been onto something about destiny after all.

“Look Damian-” Dick scratched the back of his head “- I don't know about this “destiny” stuff. But I don't want to lose you and just thought that... maybe... just maybe I want to fall in love with you.”

He has no idea what was going on in Damian's head and that he has all the reasons not to trust a word that he say. It wasn't even a proper “I love you” because for all Damian knows, Dick could have been tricking him and feeding him some phony cliché love lines from all those dramas he's watched.

Neither of them are looking at each other properly, looking down at their shoes with interest. Dick felt like a high school girl confessing to her love interest if the way he's saying otherwise. But it was far harder for him to do and this situation is far from it.

“I know it's been hard and I haven't been making this easy on you,” Dick continues, feeling his face turn red and his palm sweaty. “I want this thing between us to happen... and I hope that is enough.”

With just these couple of words was all it takes for Dick to remember the expression Damian made on his face forever. The way his eyes widened, his mouth open slightly, and his cheeks turning a hint of pink. It was a thing of beauty and wondrous, no words can describe what he just saw and couldn't help but feel the same.

The face of hope.

Damian reaches a hand towards Dick, his hand open up waiting for him. Dick puts his hand in his with a tentative touch and laces their hands together, drawing Damian into a hug.

He wasn't expecting that, feeling the slosh of liquid from Damian's drink to drip on his back but he doesn't care at all. The teenager seems to be taller than he thought as his whole body drapes over him with his hands barely touching each other on Damian's back. The way Damian holds him tight afraid to let him go feels so solid and comforting that he finds himself melting in his embrace.

“It's acceptable for now but I expect more from you,” Damian said into Dick's shoulder. “I won't lose to them and I hope you won't do the same.”

Hearing acceptance from Damian was enough for Dick's eyes to cloud with tears. He clenches his hands on Damian's shirt tighter just so he wouldn't cry. He's been crying all week but he would be more than happy to cry for this one.   

He wonders if Bruce and Barbara will ever forgive him for wanting the chance to love Damian. The one thing he would never forgive himself for was how he had closed himself up inside and be a prisoner of the past. There's no doubt about it that Damian will do whatever it takes for Dick step out of his box to fall in love with him. And when that time comes for Damian to become the man worthy of falling in love with, maybe he can finally forgive himself and get the happy ending he always wanted.

“Grayson, you owe me $757 for my plane ticket and you will be carrying my luggage on our way back.”

For now he is still a brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far. I was thinking maybe to do a sequel and turn this into a series. It is important to let me know what you think about this fic and the idea of a sequel.
> 
> Comment below and see you next time


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